Requiem
a lifetime of memories
where did they go
who will keep the hope
life is hopeful
death is hopeless
altogether a no lose
proposition
what did you do with the fear
and the anger
did it die with you
or did you leave a will
perhaps it doesn't matter
I am the executor
of your estate
and so you will be dispersed
to an undoubtedly ungrateful eternity
one life is never enough
except for regret
and hunger
an insatiable gnawing
for love
that left a hole in your gut
that could not be healed
by mere mortals
or by an uncertain god
who abandoned you
with good intentions
and tantalizing promises
of ever after
who comes to save
leaves
and vows to come again
leaving you to call out
in your dying delirium
Mother
Mother
absent even in hallucination
and so you chose to go it alone
closing the door behind you
like you did the day you walked out
leaving a silent house
and a silent husband
and a child crying behind the bedroom door
offering as collateral
the impossible
if you would just return
it seemed like magic
when you did
a sacrificial miracle
to be repeated over and over
body and blood
every time the hole opened
and swallowed you
this time there was no miracle
there never was
you only came back
because there was no place to go
and everything you were
was someone else
and this time there was no miracle
and everything you were
is someone else
-- jwb, 2001